Manifesto of the Meeting Prophets

Article 1: The Sacred Covenants

• Article 1.1: We shall always arrive late, because punctuality is the enemy of creativity.
• Article 1.2: We shall never, ever, ever, EVER use Zoom for meetings. Never.
• Article 1.3: We shall always, always, always, ALWAYS have donuts.

Donut Protocol

Article 2: The Sacred Rituals

• Article 2.1: We shall always, always, always, start with a 10-minute discussion on the weather.
• Article 2.2: We shall never, ever, ever, start a meeting without a whiteboard.
• Article 2.3: We shall always, always, always, end with a round of "two-minute warnings."

Rituals of the Prophets

Article 3: The Sacred Taboos

• Article 3.1: We shall never, ever, ever, use the words "synergy" or "paradigm shift" unironically.
• Article 3.2: We shall always, always, always, use Comic Sans.
• Article 3.3: We shall never, ever, ever, use a meeting room with fluorescent lighting.

Taboo List

Article 4: The Sacred Oaths

Article 4.1: We shall always, always, always, swear to love and honor our meeting notes, even after the meeting is over.

Article 4.2: We shall never, ever, ever, throw away our meeting notes without proper ceremony.