Meet the Prophets

Our Middle Prophets

Prophet Xylophia McSass

Specialist in: Sassy Prophecies, Middle-Age Crisis, and Coffee Fuels

Known for: Accurate predictions of who ate the last donut in the break room

Meet with: High Prophet Zoey for more information

Prophet B. J. Bottomline

Specialist in: Bottom-line Prophecies, Corporate Espionage, and PowerPoint Presentations

Known for: Predicting exactly when the CEO will ask for "synergy" in a meeting

Consult with: Undercover Prophet Lucy for more insight

Don't have a meeting to attend? No worries! Visit our Secret Schedule page for more information

Or, if you're feeling lucky, try your hand at being a Prophesy Machine yourself!