Our Prophecies

Meet the prophets who will guide you through the annals of time. Our prophecies are not just predictions, but carefully crafted, hyper-specific, and hilariously inaccurate forecasts.

Prophet 1: The Oracle of the Obvious - Foreseeing the obvious with uncanny accuracy.

Prophet 2: The Great Schemer - Plotting the intricate threads of destiny with a Machiavellian flourish.

Prophet 3: The Cryptic One - Spewing forth enigmatic, yet somehow reassuring, prophecies.