The Paradoxical Prophets of the Ancient Future
In a world where the fabric of time is as fragile as a freshly brewed cup of coffee, the Paradoxical Prophets are not what they seem. They're not actually prophets, but rather, time-traveling accountants who've grown tired of balancing the books for the space-time continuum.
Their prophecies are not predictions, but rather, clever ways to explain why the toaster in 1952 will never work properly, and why your great-aunt Mildred's cat will always be plotting against you.
Meet our esteemed Paradoxical Prophets, who will gladly sell you a time-traveling toaster repair service, but only for the low, low price of 10,000 space dollars.
Want to know what the future holds? Ask us, but be warned: our answers may not be as clear as the lines of code on our website.