Manifesto of the Snack-Pocalypse

In a world ravaged by bland, uninspired snacking options, we, the meeting prophets, call upon you, the snackers, to join us in our quest for the most epic of epiphanies:

Join us, and together, we shall conquer the snack aisles, vanquish the flavorless chips, and bring forth a new era of snacking enlightenment!