Important Prophetic Announcements:
- Next week, a 3-day coffee drought will befall the city. Bring your water bottle.
- A new, sentient, AI-powered toaster will arrive, threatening to replace human toast-makers everywhere.
- A surprise visit from the Galactic Inquisition is expected on Thursday.
Recommended Rituals for this week:
- Practice your best "I told you so"s for the impending coffee drought.
- Perform the ancient "Toaster Dance of Defiance" to ward off the AI toaster threat.
- Prepare your finest intergalactic diplomacy skills for the Galactic Inquisition's visit.
Upcoming Prophetic Events: