Plan B: Avoiding the Pain

A Guide for the Perpetually Lost

Are you tired of being a prophet? Are you tired of having to predict the future with absolute certainty? Do you wish you could just avoid it all together?

Step 1: Denial

Refuse to acknowledge the impending doom that is tomorrow's meeting. Tell everyone that you're "not available" and "have a prior commitment" to your favorite couch.

Step 2: Refuse

Step 2: Refuse

Continue to deny the meeting's existence. Tell people that you "already went" and "have the notes right here."

Step 3: Blame Others

Step 3: Blame Others

Shift the responsibility to someone else. Tell them that "Bob said you have to go" or "Jane is always doing it wrong."

Step 4: Pretend You Don't Care

Step 4: Pretend You Don't Care

Act as though you're completely disinterested in the meeting's outcome. Respond with a shrug and a "meh".

Step 5: Accept Your Doom

Step 5: Accept Your Doom

Realize that no amount of planning can avoid the inevitable. Accept the meeting's fate and trudge forward.