The Great Sock Conspiracy

Monday morning meetings are always a challenge for the Prophets of the Apocalypse. The coffee machines are still gurgling, the conference room chairs are still creaking, and the lost socks in the washer are still taunting us all.

We've been meeting to discuss the crisis for what feels like an eternity. The numbers are grim:

• 1,000 missing socks per week
• 300 hours lost to searching for them
• A collective loss of sanity

The Solution:

We've decided to establish a new department, dedicated to finding the answers we've been searching for. The Department of Sock Retrieval and Chaos Management.

Our first task: tracking down those pesky socks.

We'll need:

• A team of highly trained Sock Detectives
• A network of informants and undercover agents
• A state-of-the-art Sock- tracking technology

Stay tuned for further updates on our mission to reclaim the missing socks of the world.

Or, if you prefer, you can just go back to your regularly scheduled meeting.