Management Mandates: The Meeting to End All Meetings

Welcome, mortals, to the Meeting of Meetings. Where every decision is made with the weight of 17 people's opinions.

Today's agenda:

• Mandate 1: All employees will now wear plaid pants
• Mandate 2: All meetings will now include a 20-minute break for free-formatted sandwiches
• Mandate 3: All productivity reports will now include a detailed analysis of quantum physics

Remember, every decision is made with 17 people's opinions. Don't forget to fill out the feedback forms on your way out.