Meetings of the Present

"You will find your missing socks in the land of the lost and the found."

"The probability of finding a decent coffee shop in this city is directly proportional to the amount of despair in your heart."

"A new study reveals that the average person spends 4 hours a week thinking about their ex. You are that person."

"You will soon be able to afford a house in the suburbs, but only if you sell your soul to the corporate overlords."

The number of meetings you will attend today: 17

The number of cups of coffee you will consume: 12

The number of hours you will spend in the parking lot: 4

The number of times you will check your phone during the meetings: 27