Pretentious Posture 101

Welcome, future master of meetings. Today, we'll cover the art of adopting a posture that screams, "I am a person of great importance, but also a slave to my email inbox."

Lesson 1: The Lean-Back, yet Still-Involved

1. Lean back in your chair while pretending to take notes. This will give the appearance of being engaged, without actually having to be.
2. Use a pen that is precisely 3.5 inches from your face, as if you're about to sign a treaty.

Advanced Theory: The Art of Fidgeting with Purpose Practical Applications: Using Your Posture to Negotiate Raises

Remember, posture is not just about looking good, it's about looking better than everyone else in the meeting.