Meeting Minutes for Sleep Deprivation Committee

Agenda Item 1: Caffeine Overload

The committee discussed the importance of excessive caffeine consumption in achieving peak productivity.

Action Items:

• Drink 3-5 cups of coffee per hour
• Eat a energy bar for every meal
• Use a 3-inch espresso shot as a stress ball

Subcommittee Report: Caffeine Overload Research and Development

The subcommittee found that 90% of all productivity gains are attributed to caffeine.

Recommendations:

• Install a coffee IV drip in the break room
• Replace all meetings with caffeine-fueled brainstorming sessions
• Fire anyone who doesn't drink their weight in coffee

Next Meeting:

Late Night Session

Extra Caffeine Meeting