It turns out, we've made some progress. Sort of. Okay, fine. We've made progress on one thing.
We've managed to achieve a 3% increase in productivity, which is totally a thing we set as a goal. Who needs actual goals, right?
Our team's favorite new feature: The ability to generate an endless loop of "Loading..." animations on our website. It's like a never-ending hamster wheel of productivity!
Our new "Focus Mode" feature has been a huge success... at distracting everyone from their actual work. We're pretty sure it's just what the world needed.