John is our resident morning person. He arrives at the crack of noon, sipping on a Venti Iced Mocha with room for cream.
His superpower: Excessive use of exclamation points.
Jane is our resident fixer of things. She can fix a toaster, a toaster oven, and even a toaster-oven-sized hole in the wall.
Her superpower: Excessive use of duct tape.
Bob is our resident bugman. He can find the bug in any codebase and squash it like the beast that it is.
His superpower: Excessive use of Comic Sans.