We're not actually here to get work done. That's just a myth. We're actually here to create an endless cycle of pointless discussions, half-hearted decisions, and passive-aggressive emails.
Our fearless leader, Who Is He?, has been leading us down this rabbit hole for years, and we're still lost.
We have meetings to discuss meetings, meetings about meetings, and meetings to determine the best way to have meetings.
Join us in our never-ending quest for productivity and existential dread!
Our Secret Handbook for Meeting Dominance
Today's meeting: "The Meeting to Discuss the Meeting Schedule."
Tomorrow's meeting: "The Meeting to Decide on Today's Meeting Schedule."
And the meeting after that: "The Meeting to Discuss the Meeting to Discuss the Meeting Schedule."
Rule 1: Arrive early, but not too early.
Rule 2: Bring a laptop, but don't actually do any work.
Rule 3: Turn off your phone, but only when you're not supposed to.