**Today's Agenda:
- 8:00 - 9:00: Caffeine Ingestion and Panic Attack Prevention Protocol
- 9:00 - 10:00: The Weekly Whipping of Underperformers
- 10:00 - 11:00: Strategic Planning for World Domination, Phase 2: Infiltrating the Water Cooler
- 11:00 - 12:00: Lunch Break: Consuming an Entire Pizza by Yourself
- 12:00 - 13:00: The Art of Justifying Excessive Coffee Consumption
**Important Reminders:**
- Do not forget to wear your 'I'm with Stupid' t-shirt today.
- Remember to bring your lunch money (in cash, preferably in a hidden pocket).
- Be prepared for unexpected meetings with the IT department.