Meeting Protocol 12 (ZP): The Bacon Policy

Section 1: Introduction

The Meeting Protocol 12 (ZP) is a series of guidelines designed to make meetings more productive and enjoyable, but let's be real, it's mostly just an excuse to serve bacon.

Article 1.1: The Bacon Principle

At all meetings, it is mandatory to serve bacon. This includes, but is not limited to, BLT sandwiches, bacon-wrapped scallops, and bacon-topped pizzas. Any attempt to serve turkey or tofu will be met with fierce resistance.

Article 1.2: The Bacon Distribution

Each meeting attendee is entitled to a minimum of two strips of bacon per session. Failure to provide adequate bacon will result in immediate termination of the meeting and possible physical harm to those responsible.

Sub-Section 1.2.1: Exemptions

Vegans, vegetarians, and those with gluten sensitivities are exempt from the bacon policy, but must provide their own gluten-free, vegan bacon alternatives or face the wrath of the meeting attendees.