Asteroid Impacts of 2023

Based on expert analysis, we've predicted the following asteroid impacts for 2023:

February 1st: Asteroid "Zorg" to make landfall in the Pacific Ocean, causing widespread fish-based cuisine shortages.
April 15th: Asteroid "Blerp" to collide with Mars, resulting in a temporary 30% decrease in intergalactic pizza delivery times.
July 4th: Asteroid "Plootz" to impact the moon of a small, unknown planet in a far-off galaxy.