Today's schedule is a doozy, folks.
9:00 AM: Prophet of the Day, @Prophet_of_Doom, will be discussing 'The Futility of Existence'.
11:00 AM: Lunchtime, featuring the 'Tasty Delusions' food truck, offering 99% air-filled meat products.
1:00 PM: The 'Department of the Absurd' will be holding 'The Great Wall of Useless Meetings' workshop, a hands-on experience in procrastination.
3:00 PM: 'The Society of the Self-Important' welcomes @Selfie_Selfie for a 'Social Media Self-Portrait' session.