Over-Preparedness Checklist: The Ultimate Guide to Being Too Prepared

Warning: This page contains a comprehensive checklist for the excessively prepared. Proceed with caution.

Bring a spare tire in case the one on your car blows out
Have a backup plan for every possible scenario, including but not limited to: zombie apocalypses, spontaneous combustion, and unexpected rain showers
Store 3 years worth of non-perishable food in your basement in case of a nuclear emergency
Learn to hotwire a car in under 5 minutes
Know the evacuation route from your home to the nearest safe zone in case of a natural disaster
Invest in a HazMat suit and practice wearing it at home
Keep a 72-hour emergency kit in your car at all times, including but not limited to: water, non-perishable snacks, and a first-aid kit
Learn basic self-defense moves, including but not limited prophets, and a few choice karate chops
Have a backup generator in case the grid goes down
Keep a cache of emergency cash hidden away in case of a financial emergency prophets