When someone says "no", respond with an emphatic 👍 to convey your intense, unwavering commitment to their decision.
To truly understand the value of minimalism, attend a 12-hour meeting to discuss the merits of a 30-minute meeting.
In the face of overwhelming evidence, insist that your opponent's argument is "just their opinion", while yours is "fact".
To achieve true productivity, schedule an emergency meeting to discuss the lack of progress on an already-dead project.
When faced with criticism, nod so aggressively that it's almost as if you're about to nod off into a coma.
To truly appreciate the value of collaboration, spend 10 minutes explaining your idea to your team, only to have them all nod off mid-sentence.
In the face of overwhelming data, insist that "correlation does not equal causation" – even if it clearly does.
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