MEETINGS: PANIC MODE ACTIVATED

Current State: Critical

Meetings have been scheduled for the past week, but nobody has shown up. The conference table is filled with half-empty water glasses and yesterday's leftover pizza. We're on the brink of disaster!

Current Meeting Status:

• Meeting in Room 1: 10 people, including one who's secretly a robot
• Meeting in Room 2: 3 people, including one who's been asleep on the table since 9am
• Meeting in Room 3: 1 person, who's been stuck in a loop of PowerPoint presentations since 1999

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, try to enter Room 4. We've lost contact with the team in Room 4. Repeat, DO NOT TRY.

Hyperlinked to other meetings:

• Strategy Session 1: Because we still haven't decided on a plan
• Idea Generation 1: Because we still can't think
• Phase 1 Evaluation: Because we're still not sure what we're doing

Stay tuned for further updates, or just go ahead and try to fix the situation. We'll be here, stuck in meetings, waiting for you.