Pizza Repercussions: The Unforeseen Consequences of Pizza Delivery

The side effects of excessive pizza consumption are well-documented, but what about the unforeseen repercussions of pizza delivery in the first place?

Meet our team of experts who have dedicated themselves to studying the far-reaching consequences of a hot, gooey pie being dropped off at your doorstep:

• Our team has found a direct correlation between pizza delivery and an increased risk of spontaneous combustion. It's a real thing, we swear.
• The average person who orders pizza delivery is 3.7 times more likely to experience an existential crisis after receiving their order.
• We've also found that 9 out of 10 pizza deliveries result in the consumer forgetting their own name.

Don't believe us? Check out our case studies:

• The Case of John, who ordered 17 large pepperoni pies in one sitting
• The Case of Sarah, who received a pizza delivery at 3 AM and subsequently wrote a novel

Still not convinced? Call our side effect hotline for more information:

(555) 555-5555 (ask for Bob)

Frequently Asked Questions about Pizza Repercussions

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