We are gathered here today because our departmental overlords decreed that we must discuss the meaning of life. Or, at the very least, our place within it. Specifically, this agenda item seeks to explore the existential crisis of "Why are we here?"
As you may or may not know, our departmental leaders have been observed sipping lattes and whispering to themselves in the break room. It is whispered that the answer lies within the depths of their coffee-stained hearts.
Your participation in this discussion is not mandatory, but your attendance is highly encouraged. There will be cake.
Next on the agenda: