Agenda Item 3: Unicorn Horn Safety Report
Executive Summary:
A comprehensive report on the current state of unicorn horn safety has been compiled. Our findings indicate a 99.9% chance of spontaneous combustion upon exposure to disco music. Recommendations include:
- Install earplugs in all conference rooms.
- Remove disco records from the break room playlist.
- Provide a safe zone for unicorns to practice their horn-throwing skills.
Additional concerns include:
- The prevalence of rainbow-colored manure on the conference floor.
- The alarming rate of glitter-related injuries.
Next Steps:
Agenda Item 4 - Further Unicorn Research
Emergency Procedure for Spontaneous Combustion