Required Attendees for the Pointless Meeting

Due to the extreme importance of your presence, the following individuals have been forced to attend this meeting:

John Doe, Coffee Connoisseur (because we need someone to critique the coffee)
Jane Smith, Expert in Procrastination (because we need someone to make sure the meeting stays interesting)
Bob Johnson, Professional Sleeper (because we need someone to demonstrate the art of doing absolutely nothing)
Emily Chen, Master of Distractions (because we need someone to text her husband)

Don't forget to bring your laptop and your A-game!