Meetings are mandatory for all employees. Yes, you, too, will be attending.
Each meeting will last exactly 2 hours. Any less or more will be considered an abomination.
Snacks will be provided. Please do not bring your own.
Please refrain from using your phone during meetings. We're watching.
Do not, under any circumstances, use jargon or buzzwords. We have a zero-tolerance policy for corporate-speak.
When addressing your colleagues, please use their correct title and last name. We're not your friends.