The Unicorns of Fiscal Responsibility

Here are the possible solutions for the meeting of the Unicorns of Fiscal Responsibility, meeting 3, agenda items 1001-1100.

Agenda Item 1001: "More Sparkles, Fewer Expenses"

We propose to allocate an additional 10% of the departmental budget for sparkly, rainbow-colored decorations in the break room. This will undoubtedly increase productivity by 5% and employee satisfaction by an estimated 12.5%.

This item has been championed by the Sparkle Committee.

Agenda Item 1002: "Free Pizza Fridays: Because Adults Need a Little Extra Help"

This proposal aims to reduce employee turnover rates by 5% and increase employee satisfaction by an estimated 8% by offering free pizza every Friday.

This item has been championed by the Pizza Lobby, a group of highly influential, highly caffeinated individuals.

Agenda Item 1005: "More Flexible Pencils, Fewer Meetings"

Due to the increasing popularity of the Unicorns of Fiscal Responsibility, our meeting rooms have seen an uptick in pencil breakages. This proposal suggests replacing our standard issue pencils with more flexible, less breakage-prone alternatives.

This item has been championed by the Pencil Vigilance Committee, a group of dedicated, highly organized individuals.