The Burnout Bunker

Located in a former nuclear bunker, The Burnout Bunker is a place where you can finally give up on life.

Our state-of-the-art facilities include:

• Endless coffee machines
• Unlimited free Wi-Fi
• A 24/7 pizza delivery service
• A "relaxing" room with a 10-foot deep couch
• Optional: a "motivational" speaker system that plays an endless loop of your ex's voicemails

Don't have a life? Don't have a job? Don't know what you're doing with your life? Come to The Burnout Bunker and find prophets of despair to guide you through the wilderness.

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