Meeting 505: The Quick Delegate

Objective: To delegate as much as humanly possible, while maintaining a facade of competence

Attendees: John, Jane, Bob, and 3x the intern.

Agenda:

• 10:00 - Introduce self, pretend to care about the project
• 10:05 - Delegate tasks to the intern, blame the previous meeting's attendees for the mess
• 10:10 - Admit to knowing nothing, but claim it's a "learning experience"
• 10:20 - Take a 30-minute break to check phone, scroll through memes
• 10:50 - Reiterate the importance of meeting minutes, while secretly taking 10 minutes to scroll through notes

Decisions:

• Delegate the task of writing the report to Bob, while secretly having it written by the intern
• Decide on a color scheme for the new marketing campaign, because "colors are hard"

Action Items:

• Follow up on the intern's progress, while actually doing nothing
• Send an email to the team, claiming "I meant to do that"

Next Meetings:

• Meeting 507: The Real Deal - When we actually start making progress, if that's still possible
• Meeting 504: The Delegation Fail - When the intern gets it wrong, and we're all stuck with the mess