Meetings: they're like the zombie apocalypse of productivity. They just won't stop coming, no matter how hard you try to escape. But fear not, brave warriors, for we have some possible solutions for you:
Just tell your boss you're dying of a rare disease, and hope they don't ask too many questions. It's not like you're actually going to do any work today... or ever.
Lie About a Fake Emergency for more advanced techniques.
Or, if you're feeling really desperate, just pretend you're Pretend You Have a Family Emergency and hope your boss doesn't fact-check.
Or, if you're feeling really, really desperate, just Just Abstain from meetings altogether. It's not like that's going to solve anything, but it'll definitely make you feel better about your soul.
But wait, there's more!
Meetings as Self-Care might just be the most effective solution of all. Who needs actual productivity when you can just talk about it for hours?