Etiquette
Arrive on time, or risk being late for the meeting that never actually happens.
- Turn off your phone, unless it's a smartwatch, in which case, just turn off the screen.
- Don't eat the last donut, unless you're sure it's the last donut, in which case, just go ahead.
- Address the janitor as "Your Majesty", but only if they're wearing a crown.
Tea and Tartan
There will be tea, and it will be strong.
- Use the correct tartan pattern for your tie, or risk being castigated by the fashion police.
- Don't wear pleated pants, unless you're a Scottish Highlander, in which case, go ahead.
- No one likes a man who wears pleated pants, unless he's a Scottish Highlander, in which case, everyone likes him.