John's Caffeine Overload Management Plan

Presented by John, Caffeine-Addled Czar

As a seasoned professional, I have come to realize that meetings are the lifeblood of our organization. Or, at the very least, a necessary evil. To ensure that my colleagues and I can navigate the treacherous waters of productivity, I have devised a plan to maximize our meeting efficiency.

Step 1: Prioritize Caffeine Intake

• Consume no less than 3 cups of coffee per meeting. This will guarantee that your brain remains sufficiently lubricated for discussion and decision-making.
• Avoid sugary snacks. They're not only detrimental to your health, but also create a distracting, syrupy haze that clouds your judgment.
• Take regular breaks to stretch and rehydrate. This will prevent the dreaded 'meeting-induced' sedentary syndrome.

Step 2: Establish Clear Objectives

• Define a clear agenda. This will prevent aimless wandering and ensure that all parties are on the same page.
• Assign tasks and deadlines with precision. This will foster a sense of accountability and responsibility.
• Encourage active listening. This will promote healthy debate and constructive criticism.

By following these simple yet effective steps, you'll be well on your way to meeting mastery. Or, at the very least, you'll be able to pretend you're paying attention while your brain is on fire.

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