Welcome, meeting ninjas, to the art of stealthy meeting attendance.
Stealth Mode Activated
Arrive early, but not too early. Arrive late, but not too late. Arrive at exactly 6:47 AM, because that's just right.
Keep your phone on silent, your eyes on the clock, and your mind on the agenda. Unless the agenda is boring, then keep your phone on vibrate and your eyes on the ceiling tiles.
Don't be that guy who eats the last donut. Or the last donut's cousin, the last donut's brother, or the last donut's aunt.
When the meeting leader starts talking, nod vigorously, but only if you have a meeting ninja training certificate. Otherwise, just pretend to nod, but secretly check your email on your phone.
Ninja Moves
- The classic "I'm not here, I'm just a potted plant" move.
- The "I'm on a conference call" move.
- The "I'm allergic to meetings" move.
And remember, a meeting ninja is only as good as his exit strategy. Know your escape routes, your cover stories, and your excuses.
Stay stealthy, my friends.