Contingency Planning for PM's Unplanned Departure

It's time to face the facts: our beloved Project Manager has abandoned us. The team is in disarray, and the project timeline is in shambles.

We must adapt, improvise, and overcome. The following emergency measures are in place:

• Assign a new Project Manager from the depths of the company's org chart, who will inevitably ask for more meetings.
• Establish an emergency funding channel, where all team members can contribute their last dollar to the "PM's Pizza Fund" to bribe the new PM into sanity.
• Set up a "Survival Kit" with essentials: extra coffee, a stress ball, and a bottle of aspirin.
• Send out a company-wide email, explaining that the new PM is "not actually gone, but just reorganizing the org chart, again."

For further information and updates, please visit:

• Emergency Funding Appeals
• Survival Kit Distribution Schedule
• PM's Availability Status: The Official Updates