The project is on track to deliver a product that's 37% functional, 23% over budget, and 14% late.
We've reached the point of no return, where the only way to move forward is to pretend like everything is fine.
We're currently experiencing a 100% failure rate on all tasks, and our QA team is on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
Our CEO has declared the project a "success" and is now demanding we ship it to market immediately.
Our team has formed a union and is now demanding hazard pay, hazard insurance, and a 3 PM happy hour.
We're considering bribing the clients to accept our half-baked product.