Due to the crushing ennui that has been weighing on your shoulders, we predict a 90% chance of existential dread today. Wear a nice, thick blanket to cope.
Due to the impending doom of a looming deadline, we predict a 20% chance of productivity today. Set a reminder, and try to focus.
Due to the absurdity of it all, we predict a 99% chance of spontaneous dance party. Put on your best moves, and don't be shy!