Frequently Asked Questions

What is the meaning of life in the context of Prophetic Meetings?

According to the great and powerful Oracle of Meetings, the meaning of life is to attend meetings, attend more meetings, and attend meetings about attending meetings.

How can I prepare for a meeting with a Prophetic Meeting Oracle?

Prepare by bringing an open mind, an open heart, and a strong stomach for the impending revelations and existential crises that will ensue.

Can I use the Prophetic Meetings app on my phone?

Yes, but be warned: the Prophetic Meetings app will drive you to the brink of madness with its incessant notifications and cryptic predictions.

Will Prophetic Meetings replace traditional meetings?

No, but it will make traditional meetings seem like a delightful game of "Meeting Charades" compared to the prophetic revelations and divine interventions that we offer.

Can I request a meeting with a famous celebrity?

No, but you can request a meeting with a slightly less-famous celebrity who is secretly working on their 15th album and needs your feedback.

How do I cancel my meeting request?

To cancel, simply send a message with a clear and concise "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I'm not the chosen one" and we'll take care of the rest.

Will Prophetic Meetings be available in other languages?

Yes, but only in the language of the gods, which is a dialect that's 90% Latin and 10% interpretive dance.

Can I request a meeting about a specific topic?

Yes, but only if that topic is sufficiently vague and open-ended. Otherwise, we'll just have to send you to the Meeting Department of Redundancy and Repetition.