Reading Your Stars

Get a personalized numerology reading, because who needs actual talent or effort when the stars can tell you what to do?

• Fortune of the Day
• Astrological Advice
• Numerology Shop

Our team of expert astrologers (we couldn't afford actual experts, so we settled for astrologers) will read your stars and give you the most vague and confusing advice possible.

What the Stars Say

According to our team of highly-trained astrologers, you are currently experiencing:

• Unpredictable mood swings, possibly due to Mercury in retrograde.
• Unfortunate haircut choices, likely due to a lack of planetary alignment.
• A strong desire for cheese, possibly because you're a Capricorn.

Our Services

We offer a wide range of services, including:

• Numerology readings, because who needs actual guidance or advice?
• Astrological matchmaking, where we pair you with someone who's also having a bad day.
• Fortune-telling, because sometimes you just need someone to tell you what not to do.

Our Shop

Visit our numerology shop for all your astrological needs:

• Numerology Toys
• Astrological Candles
• Fortune-Telling Coffee