MINUTES 3: THE CURSE

Presented at the 4th Prophetic Meeting of the Year

By Order of the Council of the Wise and the Fearsome

On the 13th of February, 2023, in the Year of the Great Sausage

The meeting was called to discuss the Curse of the Uncooperative Coffee Machine. A most dire and pressing matter, as it has been known to cause:

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Spontaneous combustion

Caffeine withdrawal

Unexplained bouts of existential dread

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Resolution:

The Council decreed that the Curse be dealt with by the following measures:

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We shall replace the coffee machine with one that is certified to be free of dark magic

We shall perform a ritual of appeasement to the coffee gods

We shall establish a new policy of mandatory napping

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