Prophets of the Apocalypse

Our team of experts in the art of predicting the end of the world has been studying the ancient art of doom-saying for centuries. And we've got the scoop: it's going to be a real doozy.

Prophecies of the Coming Zombie Apocalypse

Our top prophecy is from the great Prophetess of the Damned, who foretold of a zombie uprising in the year 2050:

They shall rise from the sewers, with a hunger for brains and a love of bad poetry.

They shall stumble and stagger, with a gait like the undead, driven solely by a desire to devour the living.

You shall know them by their moans, and by the stench of death that follows them.

We recommend you stock up on canned goods, and maybe a few rounds of ammo, just in case.

Zombie Preparedness Checklist Zombie Survival Tips Zombie Slaying Techniques

Other Apocalyptic Predictions

We've also got predictions for:

Artificial Intelligence Takes Over

Nuclear War with France

The Great Aisle 5 Sockpocalypse

Robot Uprising of the South Pole

Stay tuned for more updates on the coming apocalypse!