"My children, gather 'round, for today I shall speak of the sacred virtue of simplicity. Not the simplicity of a minimalist's dream, but the simplicity of a toddler's temper tantrum. "Why, oh why, why do they make it so hard?!" is not a question of logic, but of existential crisis. In a world where the microwave can heat your dinner to perfection in 3 minutes, we must question why we bother with 30 minutes of cooking time. Why, indeed, do we bother with 30 minutes? Because, my friends, that is the time it takes for the water to boil in the sink. Think on it, my friends, think on it.