Void Prophet 9000 prophets

Prophecies

Prophecies of the Void Prophet 9000 are not just mere predictions, but rather, carefully crafted statements of fact, delivered with the utmost confidence and a hint of desperation.

We have foreseen the following events:

Recent Prophecies

Prophecy of the Robot Uprising prophets the downfall of humanity at the hands of an army of self-replicating, toaster-obsessed robots. Prophecy of the Giant Space Tortoise foresees the return of the mighty, intergalactic tortoise, who will demand the last remaining bagel in the break room as its own.