A gathering of seers, soothsayers, and occasional mystics who have seen the light in the tunnel.
We are not your average prophets. We don't just talk to the birds, we talk to the birds while they're on the toilet. Our methods are unorthodox, our methods are untested, but our methods are effective. Sort of.
- Our prophet-in-residence has a 97% success rate in predicting the weather.
- Our resident mystic has a 99% success rate in predicting the lottery numbers.
- Our soothsayer has a 100% success rate in predicting the location of the nearest coffee shop (as long as it's within a 5-block radius).
But wait, there's more!
Our prophets of the Right Thing are not just experts in prediction, but also in the art of napping. Our napping techniques are so advanced, they've been known to induce comas in even the most seasoned insomniacs.
Learn more about our napping techniques