Today's quarterly briefing will be focused on our new product line: "Inflato" - the world's first inflatable, self-sustaining, sentient, robotic, snack-dispensing, productivity-boosting, stress-reducing, happiness-enhancing, cat-appeasing, employee-motivating, synergy-creating, synergy-disrupting, synergy-reinforcing, synergy-destroying, etc. etc. etc. etc. device.
"Inflato" will revolutionize the way we work by providing a constant, reliable source of snacks, entertainment, and existential dread. It will be a game-changer. A paradigm-shifter. A paradigm-destroyer.
Questions and comments will be accepted, but please direct all inquiries to our dedicated Inflato- Support-Desk-Of-Despair, where our team of highly trained, highly caffeinated, highly medicated specialists will be on hand to address any concerns, answer any questions, and provide unsolicited advice on the best ways to utilize Inflato for maximum synergy.
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