QUARTERLY MEETING

Welcome, Employees!

Meeting Purpose:

Today, we are going to discuss the state of our company. Or at least, what we think it is, after a few hours of intense staring at spreadsheets.

We will be covering:

• Our current market share: 3.14%
• Our projected growth: 0%
• Our employee satisfaction levels: 2.5/5 (we think)

Agenda:

• Point 1: Our Current State of Affairs
• Point 2: Projected Growth (or Lack Thereof)
• Point 3: Employee Morale (or How We're All Doing)

And that's it. That's the meeting. Thanks for coming.