Agenda
1. Minute 1: Introductions (10 minutes, 5 minutes for each person, because who doesn't need to introduce themselves 5 times?)
2. Minute 2: Superfluous Background Checking (30 minutes, because you never know when someone might be hiding something)
3. Minute 3: Pointless Status Updates (20 minutes, because someone might have a new haircut)
4. Minute 4: Soliloquy Time (45 minutes, because someone might have a deep, personal issue)
5. Minute 5: Deadline Clarification (15 minutes, because someone might be confused)