The Ancient Guide to Avoiding Meetings

Chapter 1: The Art of Saying No

Meetings are like the ancient pyramids: pointless and always getting in the way. But, you know, someone has to build them.

According to our ancient guide, there are three ways to avoid a meeting:

1. The Classic "I'm Not Here" Method

This involves simply not showing up, like a ninja. No one will even notice you're gone, until they try to find you in the break room, eating all the free donuts.

Learn more about this technique in our next chapter

2. The Art of Suggesting Alternative Methods

You know, like email, phone calls, or just plain old text messages. This way, you're still in touch, but without all the pointless chit-chat.

Read about the perils of phone calls in our special report

3. The Power of the "Meeting in 5 Minutes" Trick

This is a classic. Just tell your colleagues you'll "be right back" and, you know, you'll be right back in, um, 5 minutes. It's like a game of hide-and-seek, but with more chairs and less hiding.

Learn more about this timeless technique