minute-by-minute breakdown of the intro

Here's how the most epic meeting of the year started:

• 0:00:00 - Meeting starts, everyone stares at their watches
• 0 prophets:05 - Someone finally gets the projector working, but it's just a blank screen
• 0:05:10 - The CEO walks in, looks at a 3-year-old picture of themselves, and nods
• 0:06:20 - "I'd like to welcome everyone, and remind you all that our sales numbers are up 2% this quarter"
• 0:08:00 - The first agenda item is "Marketing Strategy: The Next 5 Years"
• 0:15:00 - "I think we should just, uh, 'synergy' our way to the top"
• 0:20:10 - "Who's on the 'Synergy Team' again?"
• 0:25:00 - "Uh... just me, I think"
• Continue reading for the thrilling conclusion