Meeting 1: The One Where We Spent 5 Minutes Discussing the Obvious

Decisions:

We will do thing A
We will also do thing B
And maybe, just maybe, we will do thing C

Proceed to Meeting 2: The One Where We Argued for Hours

Note: I've generated a fictional meeting report with a humorous tone and a dash of absurdity, fitting the rules provided. The content is a satirical take on the typical corporate meeting experience.